Why Children Struggle to Learn with Their Parents and How Tutors Can Help

As a parent or caregiver of a little one, it’s likely that you’ve heard some of these phrases while trying to help your kid with their homework:

“No”

“I don’t feel like it”

“Stop telling me what to do”

“I already know what I’m doing, so I’m not showing my work!”

All you want to do is help your child succeed in school, but often, your nightly homework session turns into a never-ending struggle that ends in pure frustration and getting very little accomplished.

You might think to yourself, what am I doing wrong? The truth is you’re probably not doing anything “wrong,” per se. Children can be hard to figure out sometimes, especially when it comes to their learning needs.

Here are a few reasons why it can be so hard for children to learn with their parents and what tutors can do to help.

Fear of Judgement

Even though they may not act like it all the time, your kids do love you! While strong family bonds can certainly encourage your child to succeed, sometimes, this can also lead to a constant need for approval from the parent. If your child is struggling with reading, they may be hesitant to read in front of you because they simply don’t want to disappoint. It’s crucial to remember that, even though this is not the perspective you’re coming from (i.e. you just want to help and know that mistakes are simply part of the learning process), your child may not see it that way.

Increasing Frustration

Even as adults, we know how frustrating and aggravating it can be to try and fail, especially when we are learning something new, whether that be at work, school, or in our personal lives. So, just imagine how emotional children feel when they are in that same situation, and they don’t have the same experience, patience or coping skills as adults. Having to revisit a skill that has made your child cry tears of frustration can make them shut down completely. There is so much pressure on children to succeed in school. It is difficult for children to go at their own pace when school teachers must follow and complete a particular curriculum in a short amount of time with dozens of students at different learning levels. This can leave your child feeling behind and downright discouraged to the point where they don’t want to learn anymore. 

Boredom or Lack of Engagement

As a busy parent, on top of everything you already have to do, you’re also trying your hardest to make time to help your child complete their homework. This also means you don’t have time for fun and frills: you just need to get this homework completed and be done for the night. I get it! Children, however, don’t care about that! They want to be entertained! It can be really difficult to keep homework help engaging, while also completing it in a timely manner.

How Tutors Can Help

This is where I come in. There are many benefits to having your child learn with a tutor, especially if they are behind and struggling to learn at home. In fact, according to The Center for American Progress “Studies continuously show the benefits of high-dosage tutoring: It increases students’ learning by an additional three to 15 months across grade levels; moves an average student from the 50th percentile to the 66th percentile;  and is, overall, 20 times more effective than standard tutoring models for math and 15 times more effective for reading” (americanprogress.org). 

What is high-dosage tutoring, you ask? That’s for another blog post, but basically it involves at least three 30-minute tutoring sessions per week for your child. I personally believe any form of length of tutoring helps! 

So, let’s get into how tutors can help!

Learning in a Different Environment

A simple change in environment can really help increase the desire and will to learn. The great thing about tutors is, we are just the tutors. We do not play a dual educator/parental role. In other words, there are no prior expectations or relations that might hinder children from learning. They are less afraid to mess up and more open to talking to someone outside of the family that they know is here to help them.

We Have Your Back!

Sometimes, children take advice better when they hear it from someone other than their parents. I’ve always seen myself as a parental ally, because at the end of the day, I will always emphasize the importance of learning, studying consistently, and respecting your elders while doing so. In my experience, while children may be hesitant to tell their parents or teachers about a learning difficulty, struggle, or preference that they have, they will likely confide in their tutor. I can then use this information to help the parent understand what may be negatively affecting their child’s learning experience, so we can find some solutions together.

We Can Make it Fun!

While parents don't necessarily have the time to make learning or homework help fun or engaging, tutors do. With ready-made lessons and activities that are easy to incorporate into the child’s current learning needs, we can help to engage them in a way that is entertaining, yet effective. I love bringing coloring pages, colored pencils, fidget toys, and word and reading games into the mix. 

If the struggle is real, consider signing your child up for tutoring! 

Have questions? I’m always here to help! Feel free to contact me at: lanaschrocktutoring@gmail.com.